Monday, January 11, 2010

Heil King Henry IX !

 Well that's according to Nostrodamus and Mario Reading's

King Charles III will abdicate in 2022 (yes-it will be Camilla's fault) and Harry takes over (no word on why William is by-passed). Expect Buck House to become fun city and a cross between Annabel's and your local boozer.
       Not for long-the Royal Family is gone by 2040 and Britain becomes a Republic and naughty France rejoices ! (don't worry-by 2098 France has descended into utter anarchy)

 tSS telephoned our regular psychic Mandy Miami ( right ) who is currently in Melbourne for our new century predictions but she wasn't giving anything away. 'Not since my run-in with Uri Geller over Michael Jackson" she said."

 " I keep my predictions to myself now", Mandy had written a raft of predictions for that august publication the National Enquirer and correctly predicted the winner of the Kentucky Derby, the next host city of the Olympic Games but one piece raised the hackles of thousands. Words to the effect of "within the coming year Michael Jackson will be involved in a huge scandal that will forever change his life and he will need to re-invent his image. He will marry but never be the same again".
       Sounds innocuous but at a charity dinner a few weeks later Geller declared his "close friend" Michael would never get himself involved in scandal  and to shove home his point he bent Miami's dinner fork, house key and stopped her watch.
       Nine months later the Jordan Chandler story erupted and the rest is history.

   Nostradamus,according to Reading's book, says there are rocky times ahead including the flooding of the Aegean Sea in 2016 .
       Things aren't looking too rosy for Pope Benedict with a new younger, liberal and more hip Pope taking over in 2012. That rules out the ultra-conservative Cardinal Pell of Sydney who was pipped at the post by his German pal.
        Hillary Rodham Clinton becomes president in 2015 with the prediction in the following quatrain :

The Masculain woman will exert herself to the north.
 She will annoy nearly all of Europe and the rest of the world
 (surely Sarah Palin ?.)

   Meat will be banned by 2031 and we'll all be vegans. Or maybe eating
Soylent Green. And the following year the new Anti Christ is born !
     Islamic terrorism is on the rise and new weapons will be actually secreted inside their bodies-forget body scanners. A waste of money.
         And finally the fear of White Australia will come true in 2037 when Oz and Indonesia go to all out war over who dominates the Indian Ocean.
    And a victory for the UK Independence Party in Britain when England leaves the Eurpean Union in 2064.
There are endless climate disasters ahead for us and most of New York disappears in an earthquake in 2083. There are tsunamis , locust plagues wiping out crops worldwide, earthquakes in Europe and a re-emergence of the black plague that wipes out huge amounts of the population throughout the world and Europe.
       But Britain is spared !. Not so fast folks. Over populated, the UK suffers from a famine. (remember-the locusts )
            And did I mention the asteroid that hits planet earth in 2069 ? So don't even worry about the global nuclear war that begins in 2070 and lasts for 20 years.
The Protestant and Catholic churchs will be kaput by 2070 and Buddhism is the new faith. And maybe Scientology with Tom Cruise as the new Messiah.
 It just gets worse after that so there's no point in being too pessimistic.
Basically we're all going to hell in a handbasket. So all in all-nothing much changes for the next ten decades and it's business as usual.!

 Happy New Year and have a great century !

# our thanks to a regular reader Mr P.Taylor who pointed out some shocking spelling mistakes. Mildred Pierce is banished from the office yet again . Staff are hopeless these days.

But you have worse things to worry about really-the Anti Christ is on his/her way !