Thursday, December 31, 2009

reality check

      OK it's the silly season but that's no reason to go totally troppo. A tabloid we won't name (Daily Telegraph) is reporting that Hollywood actor Matt Damon is currently holidaying in Huskisson on the NSW South coast having moved on from Bateman's Bay where it's reported he "signed autographs".
     Damon, one of Hollywood's Mr Nice Guys is supposedly on The World, a vast cruise liner that is heading for Sydney and is like a 15 storey apartment block laid upon it's side. tSS  inspected The World the last time it visited Sydney and, well frankly they may be very nice apartments but the whole floating shebang is ghastly.
      It's like being trapped at sea in an apartment block full of neighbours you never wanted to know and are usually types like a Texan husband and wife who own a thousand bowling alleys and are worth a mint but would bore for The World.
 If Matt's aboard that boat I'll eat Madame Arcarti's hat. These shipboard apartments are mostly owned by people who occasionally rent them out-well just like a real apartment block but why would you want to spend weeks at sea when someone like Damon can hire his own Lear Jet if he wants to holiday in Oz with the kids-particularly as there would be very few other children aboard.
     There are some pleasant owners of these floating flats like Bill and Imelda Roche who sold the Nutrimetics empire for a squillion but they have even started spending less and less time aboard. The highly successful astrologer Athena Starwoman also purchased one when she found instant success in the USA but succumbed to cancer before she could even cross the threshold of her sea bound home.
    Frankly I'd prefer a trip on the Poseidon as at least you would get to go down with Shelley Winters.
And besides, tSS's World spy disguised as the PR agent says there is no-one named 'Damon ' listed onboard.
       This tale reeks for all The World like the story that engulfed the same newspaper when it discovered Sex in The City star Sarah Jessica Parker sipping a beer at the Rushcutter's Bay yachting club a few years ago and ran the pic for 3 days swearing blind it was her despite tSS saying 'you've got it all wrong folks". On the 4th day they admitted their mistake  (no apology of course) but the British lass who had a passing resemblence to Parker lapped up every moment of her new found fame.

     Of  course tSS may be completely wrong about this one but when have we ever been before  ?

    The same tabloid has run a list of parties for New Year's Eve where one might spot Sydney's "A-List". That would be some feat finding this mysterious crowd who have been missing in action for decades and I doubt even David Attenborough could discover this rare and relatively unknown species.
   Still, they reckon there is an "exclusive" private party at the Top of the Town's $8.25 million penthouse "It's super private, ultra-glam and the guest list includes Charlotte Dawson and John Ibrahim." . Whatever.