Friday, September 17, 2010

Bizarre venues



To the Carriageworks in downtown Redfern for the performance of Dita Von Teese in her Cointreauversial burlesque show.

Or so we thought it was the Carriageworks. The marvellous former railway carriage workrooms are in fact 2 venues with the same name. One on the west side of Redfern and one on the south. Equally as huge and both with the same name. Which is all very confusing.

Cointreau is a ghastly drink that completely dehydrates you and gives you the most evil hangover ever. But we love their parties. When ace publicist Deeta Colvin ran the legendary Cointreau Balls every year from 1989 to 1999 invitations were the most sought after all year. People flew from all over the globe to attend the fancy dress galas that were always held in secret venues with guests bussed to an fro in fleets of limos.

No-one drank Cointreau of course. They all stuck to French champagne. At the very last ball in '98 when the budget was clipped, they only served the sickly liqueur. Everyone knew the game was up.

Ms Von Teese is a lovely girl but waiting nearly 2 hours for a ten minute performance was a bit much. Especially when the only alcohol on offer is Cointreau.

Earlier in the night the Shuttle attended the World Champions Ball at Doltone House down by the harbour. Or so we thought it was Doltone House.

Like dozens of others who were deposited in taxis and limos at what we thought was Doltone House (which it was). We were then told by a helpful attendant that it was actually another Doltone House a hundred yards down the road (it was three hundred). Which didn't please the ladies in long gowns and stilettos.

Why would you name two venues Doltone House? . It's hardly a riveting name.

We went to met Usain Bolt, the world champion Jamaican runner who was also the youngest ever Olympic Gold Medal winner. He holds a host of unbeaten records as well which makes him the fastest man on 2 legs on Earth.

Usian wanted to meet some local wildlife so the obligatory Koala Bear and a Kangaroo Joey were trotted out for him and we all oohed and ahhed over them.

And the name of Koala and the Joey?..both were called 'Sidney'!